I'm Just a Girl

ESR student Jodi Jones offers a reflection on Peter Rollins’ new book, The Idolatry of God. Rollins will be on campus at ESR as the keynote speaker for our annual Willson Lectures on April 8.

Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I'm exposed
And it's no big surprise
Don't you think I know
Exactly where I stand
This world is forcing me
To hold your hand
'Cause I'm just a girl, little 'ol me
Don't let me out of your sight
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don't let me have any rights

No Doubt, I’m Just a Girl

In the US, women have earned the right to die on the battlefield. They have not only proven themselves as competent, but also as having a unique perspective and having something distinctive to add to the conversation. As theologians they have shown themselves to be intelligent, witty, and pioneers in new ways of thinking. Yet, the world still tries to force us to hold the hand of the people in power. While the American woman has overcome much of the hard power oppression, the soft power still creeps forward in insidious ways. One of those ways came to my attention last week as I prepared for our Willson lecturer, Peter Rollins.

I recently began to read Peter Rollins’ book The Idolatry of God in preparation for his upcoming visit. My interest in his work was centered on his assertion that faith is in “embrac[ing] our brokenness” and in “accept[ing] the difficulties of existence” (Rollins, back cover), which I felt I could apply to my chaplaincy. I was only a few pages into his book when I was overcome with feelings that I can only describe as rage and humiliation. The emergence of these feelings centered on a story Rollins’ uses to explain creatio ex nihilo.  The story is one in which a man tricks his friend’s wife into reluctantly exposing her naked body to him for four hundred dollars (Rollins, 10-11).

The sting of these feelings continued when Rollins used two more misogynistic examples without apology. In a milder instance, Rollins uses Immanuel Kant’s example of a man’s desire to sleep with a woman to be heightened by an obstacle (Rollins, 29). This is followed by an example where a woman remains in a destructive relationship with “someone who is highly respected” so that she can “get a form of pleasure from other people…wishing they were in her position” (Rollins, 40). While the last two cases of sexism are less impactful, in light of the first story they build upon a negative view of women in general.   It is a view in which women are sexual objects to be manipulated and in which they are manipulative. Thus far, forty pages into the book, I have not read a positive view of women in Rollins’ book that offsets the growing negative view. Disturbingly, it seems as if Rollins is unaware of his sexist views.

Let me tell you very briefly about the women I know. None of them have a pink ribbon over their eyes, and very few of them have had anyone who holds their hands. They have made it in a world as single moms, as deeply caring pastors or chaplains, as teachers and students, as people who will scratch and climb and stumble toward success not just for themselves, but for others. They are women who, even after months or years of demeaning abuse, will find the strength to get out of destructive relationships even if it means being homeless for a while. They are, in brief, women who would eat rice and beans month after month before they would reluctantly expose themselves to a power hungry neighbor.

Now, let me tell you briefly about some of the men I know. They care deeply for myriad causes, their heads rear back in disgust when I read them the sexist drivel I have alluded to above, they are people who love and want to be loved. They have sacrificed greatly in service to their beliefs and to others. And, as far as I know, they would eat rice and beans month after month so they could give their desperate neighbor much needed money.

And, there is the crux of sexism. It creates a world where women and men are belittled. It creates caricatures of people who love, who make mistakes, and who imperfectly stumble toward God. It has not, though, brought about the Kin-dom of God. It has not honored all as the beloved children of God that we know ourselves to be.

I will change the lyrics of No Doubt’s song just slightly: I know exactly where I stand/this world [cannot force me to hold your hand]. That change represents the joy and transformation of living in the Light of God. As an American woman, I have freedoms other women in the world do not have. I am able to choose a counter-culture stance where I value all of God’s good creation to the best of my ability. But, I do not stop there. I continue to love even as I am hurt. I continue to make myself vulnerable even as it deeply scares me. I continue to believe that God’s Kin-dom is in the here and now and that together we can make a change.

This reflection is meant to only be the beginning of a conversation. I wonder, for example, to what extent a person’s message is tainted by the messenger. After all, none of us claims perfection, and we all write and speak from our own context. How do we live out the testimonies of peace, integrity, and equality in situations where someone is a little racist, sexist, homophobic, and/or elitist? What about when they are blatantly racist, sexist, etc.? In a recent email, [ESR Dean] Jay Marshall expressed the desire to have a community-wide discussion about how Rollins ties what Christians believe and what they say and do with themes such as social justice and realized eschatology. For those who have read his books, how do you perceive his message in connection to the reflections above?

As I said, I am intending this to be the beginning of a conversation. What are your thoughts? What are your questions?